poetry, musing, and travelogue which, as Pooh would put it,
all turn out to be about the same thing
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
30 Day Journal Challenge, Day 25:: What am I afraid of?
Lisa's pep talk today is about resolutely facing and working through, or despite, one's fears. Her own words are a good prompt:
It’s ok to be scared. Terrified even. What if this was a sign you were headed in the right direction.
Now that's a new thought. Hmmm. Given that nothing is really preventing or warning me otherwise, going ahead anyway might just help still my fears. "You'll never know unless you try." Like jumping into the water at the beach or the pool. Most of us do eventually learn to swim. Our eight year old granddaughter sets a fine example of confronting her fears, assigning herself, step by step, to overcome:...recently, being new at her school this year, going to sleep in a room by herself at grandparents' house. I admire that purposefulness. She and her mother, my marathon-running daughter, inspire me anew, to take the leap, to persist, to review, revise, finalize and offer my writing for publication as opposed to just obsessing over it, inspire me to follow through. Which reflects a root of my procrastination, a fear of closure, of being done, and/or of not being well done, of missing something. Like that sentence...I really should be able to articulate that ' The question remains: What AM I afraid of in regards to 'taking my writing to the next level'? Is it as simple as fear of being interrupted, of having another thought intrude on another very good one which is begging to be written down? Is it fear of criticism or disparagement, esp. by spouse? Is it worry that I'm spending precious time on work that doesn't seem to be serving any 'useful' purpose when there are household and relationship tasks I 'should' be working on? Maybe it's just fear of the dark, reluctance to 'put myself out there.' At any rate, I am working on the 'resolute' part of it. Taking at least one small step a day, and chocolate, are good incentives to go farther...Assigning myself this 30 day journal writing challenge at least results in practice, habituating myself to discipline, lack of which I have spent far too much time lamenting and little enough time battling.